


Lucie, My Love

by julemmaes



Category: The Last Hours Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blackdale, Engaged Matthew Fairchild/Lucie Herondale, F/M, Fluff, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Jordelia, One Shot, Parabatai, Parabatai Bond, Thomastair, shadowhunters one shot, wound
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:27:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23618260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julemmaes/pseuds/julemmaes
Summary: After a quite dangerous and reckless night Matthew finds himself facing the consequences of his actions while Lucie questions their relationship.
Relationships: Alastair Carstairs & Thomas Lightwood, Alastair Carstairs/Thomas Lightwood, Cordelia Carstairs & James Herondale, Cordelia Carstairs/James Herondale, Matthew Fairchild & Lucie Herondale, Matthew Fairchild/Lucie Herondale
Comments: 1
Kudos: 34





	Lucie, My Love

Lucie was in the Herondale Lounge at the London Institute that night. She was laughing carefree with Cordelia. Initially the idea had been to sit at the table to write something, and she had succeeded in her mission, for twenty minutes, but then Math and his brother had entered, followed by her parabatai, and focusing on anything other than the caresses of her future husband’s on her arm had become impossible. They talked about the upcoming wedding for a couple of hours before the boys went out to the Devil Tavern with Christopher and Thomas, leaving them alone to talk about what they would call "girl stuff".  
"So." Cordelia said looking at her with a lively glance over the edge of the cup.  
"So… what?" Lucie asked, sipping her own tea.  
"Oh, I know I’ve already asked you a billion times, but I really need to know, or I’m gonna go crazy. What did Matthew get for Jamie?" she asked with a shrill voice, tormenting her hands, "I’ve bought at least twelve books in Persian, but I’m sure he will not like half of them." said Cordelia desperately, bringing her right hand to hold the daisy-shaped pendant James gave her right after their wedding. Lucie almost cried when she saw it.  
She sat still, fixing the foldes of her dress, "I can’t tell you," she said taking another sip of tea, "because he didn’t tell me either. I know dad has something to do with the whole plan, but he’s been avoiding me for a week." bewildered she shook her head, "He seemed so happy to have to leave today and not have to lie to my face every day. Unbelievable."  
Cordelia sunk even deeper into the chair, puffing, when the living room door slammed against the wall, causing her to snap. She brought her hand to Cortana so quickly that Lucie didn’t even notice when she pulled it out, she only saw a golden glow, but then she felt it. She felt as Cordelia’s mood changed, while dropping the sword to the ground. She looked at the door ready to fight whatever thing got into the Institude and her stomach fell under her feet when she saw James holding himself with a bloody hand to the door and his face almost unrecognizable. He was wheezing, like he was running, but it was visible how much even that slight movement of his chest was hurting him. Normally pink skin was pale as ivory under that dry layer of blood, and golden eyes now shone, bright of tears.  
She felt, rather than saw, Cordelia moving between the chairs and reaching for Jamie. She was gonna ask him what the hell happened, where the others were, but he beat her to it, "Matthew..."  
Lucie held her breath as the doors opened wide and Thomas and Christopher entered, a body hanging between the two of them, and that blonde hair, which she could recognize in the midst of a thousand heads, was dark, covered with blood. By the Angel, there was so much blood, so much... She squeezed the cup so hard that her knuckles turned white, and she didn’t recognize her voice when she asked, "What happened?" she still couldn’t get up. She was motionless in that wooden chair that had never seemed so fragile, as if at any moment it would break under her weight. Christopher looked at her with a pleasing look and she saw with horror the cut across his right cheek. An image of another night, two years away from that moment, formed in her head, but she immediately put it away.  
"Move everything, we have to put him on the table." said Thomas grunting, but Lucie didn’t move. She couldn’t bring herself to. "Dammit Lucie, move that teapot!" there was an edge in Thomas' voice, Lucie had never heard it before. Cordelia called her and she moved her head to the side, looking at her, but not really seeing her. James held an arm on her shoulders and they were moving towards the couch, Cordelia the only support of his brother in that moment. Just as she had been Jesse’s only support the night those Kuri demons had hurt so badly that she had struggled to recognize him when they’d found him.  
"Luce I need you to do me a favor and move all the things on the table so Tom and Kit can lay Matthew down. Please." Cordelia’s voice betrayed her, breaking on the last word, but that was enough to startle Lucie. She remained silent while with a single movement she threw everything that was on the table on the floor. If something broke, she didn’t care. She heard Thomas swearing and then her heart tightened in a press so tight that she thought she was dying, because Matthew had just woken up. And he was screaming. Christopher pushed him on the table and Lucie walked away with her hands on her mouth to stop a sob, as her sight blurred.  
"Shit! James!" Thomas turned to her brother as his body bent over Matthew’s to keep him down. Matthew, who was shouting so loudly with his mouth wide open that it was difficult to be heard over the noise and that with his hands closed, was trying so hard not to faint. Lucie wouldn’t have been surprised if he had half-moon marks on his palms the next day. "James, you have to come over here and make him an iratze! Mine aren’t working!" Thomas was trying to stay calm, but holding Matthew down was getting too complicated.  
"I-" James looked at him and the desperation imprinted in his features almost made Lucie scream, "I’ve already tried. I couldn’t… mine didn’t work either." He was crying when he finished talking. Cordelia’s hand holding the stelee on James' skin stopped for a second, long enough to glance at the table, before resuming faster.  
Christopher went running out of the room, saying he was going to call someone, anyone. Thomas turned to Math when he stopped screaming, started whimpering. Lucie approached slowly when he began to whisper and move his head frantically. His legs kept kicking, but his body was relaxing enough to make Thomas move away so she could see the situation better. The agonizing expression, so similar to that Jesse had had in the last minutes of his life…  
"Jamie. Jamie, where are you?" Matthew was saying, "James." he sobbed, opening his eyes and reaching out to his parabatai. James tried to stand up driven by the voice of the other, and when the wound on his waist prevented him, he sat down again and closed his eyes, "I’m here, Matthew, talk to me. I’m here."  
Lucie, taking a deep breath, stood beside him, holding a hand to his cheek. When he turned to her, leaning completely on her touch, he said, "Luce, my love," they sobbed together. She knelt beside the table and took one of his hand with the other, holding as tight as she could, trying to draw his attention to that contact and not to the pain he was feeling.  
Matthew grimaced, closing his eyes when Thomas ripped his shirt off, but Lucie kept her eyes fixed on his face. If she looked at her future husband’s chest, she would lose all hope, she knew, she had to stay focused on his features, his eyes. She was going to ask what happened, but Tom put a piece of rolled up cloth in front of his mouth, "Sorry, Math, but you have to bite this." Matthew looked at him, appalled, shaking his head slightly, "You have a bone that is not where it should be, and I have to put it back in before I can do anything else." He said, "Bite it, please." Thomas’s eyes filled with tears and at that point Lucie could not resist any more, she burst into tears taking the piece of cloth from her friend’s hand, caressing one last time her boyfriend’s cheek. "Open your mouth, love, for me. It will all be over before you know it, I promise." she smiled despite the tears.  
"Promise me?" he asked, frightened, inhaling abruptly.  
"I promise you, now bite it." she said, making him open his mouth. "Take my hand. Stay here, stay with me." she looked at Thomas from above her shoulder and felt Matthew stiffen as Tom touched his knee. He nodded his head, and she shook Matthew’s hand tighter, holding back the tears when both Matthew and James shouted and Thomas put Matthew’s bone back into its place, straightening his shin with the torn shirt.  
Math was crying again, clenching his teeth as hard as he could. He turned his head to his side, toward his parabatai, and tears fell on his nose and temple as he looked at James and took one last breath before he passed out.  
"Math? Math, Matthew." she said, shaking his shoulders. She glanced at Thomas, looking for help, but his friend was looking at Matthew as one looked at a lost cause, and took a step back. No, no. she wouldn’t have allowed it. "Love you have to wake up. You have to keep your eyes open." she whispered to his ear. A sound of frustration escaped her control and she finally allowed herself to look at the chest of the boy lying on the table, when he gave no sign of hearing her. No, she sobbed and her sight blurred once more, not again. Three cuts… No, three claws, those wounds could only have been made by claws. Three claws so deep that Lucie could see the bones in all that shredded flesh. She choked another sob, wondering how he still had vital organs inside his torso. Another wave of panic poured over her and closing the gap between her and James in a few strides, she took the stelee from his hand and quickly returned to Matthew, starting to draw as much iratze as she could, wherever she could find a spot that wasn’t reduced to minced meat.  
"Lucie," James tried to call her.  
She burst into a desperate cry and could no longer stop, while every rune she drew disappeared immediately afterwards. She tried to stop the blood from pouring out with her own hands, resting them on his wounds, and when Matthew gave no sign of feeling that either, she screamed. She screamed until Thomas put his hands on her shoulders, taking her away from Matthew’s body. She tried to free himself from his grip, but he held her tightly, and kept pushing her further and further away. Further and further.  
Only when Cordelia touched her elbow did she realize that Christopher had returned and with him was Ragnor Fell. The warlock took in the surroundings wide-eyed and bleached, and signaled everyone to go out, but Lucie was still crying and would never have been able to leave Matthew alone.  
"Luce please, he can’t focus if you stay here and," Christopher’s voice interrupted her thoughts and she finally managed to detach her gaze from Matthew’s chest, which was moving more and more slowly, "you need to calm down. Stressing yourself so much won’t help you. You have to stay stable in case you need to bring him something. You could make yourself useful." Kit put his hand on her back, pushed her out, and Lucie knew what he was doing, he had done it two years before, when she lost Jesse. Jesse. Raziel, she would’ve lost Matthew, too.  
"I can’t get out." her voice stuck in her throat and Thomas joined her on the other side, "You have to come out. Come with us, you’ll make an iratze on my arm, and as soon as he’s done, you can see him. Now come."  
"No you don’t understand. It’s already happened, I can’t go out. If I go out he’ll die and it’ll be like with Jesse, again. I, I can’t… He can’t." she took a trembling breath and saw Thomas and Christopher exchanging a look of understanding. They tried to move her, but Lucie couldn’t.  
"Lucie?" At the sound of her brother’s voice she looked up and when he smiled at her, she sighed. If James smiled, it meant that there was no danger of death. However, she looked over her shoulder towards Matthew and it was not possible that he would make it. "Lucie." James called back, "Come with me. Let Ragnor work." He took her hand encrusted with blood, Matthew’s blood, and carried her out with the help of his friends.  
Once in the hallway she leaned against the wall and with his brother, she let herself fall to the floor. She looked at her dress and squeezed the heavy red cloth between her fingers. James' hand landed on her knee and she looked up at him, seeing how his wounds were closing. Why were iratze working on him? What had hurt Matthew so badly?  
She turned to the others and was surprised to see Cordelia, laying the stelee on Christopher’s neck. Thomas was resting his head on Alastair’s shoulder, who in the meanwhile was drawing healing runes on his left arm, next to the real tattoo. He must have arrived with Christopher. Not that she really cared in that moment.  
"What happened?" her voice came out much harder than she wanted.  
"We were going to the tavern and we met Alas on the way there. We… I greeted him and a pack of werewolves passing by saw us. They’ve started making unpleasant comments."  
Answered Thomas promptly, his face hardening while staring at Alastair the whole time he was talking. Now that she was paying attention, Lucie had never seen her parabatai’s brother so pale in his life. He had not yet said a word, and it was rare that he did not comment on everything as he did since he joined their group.  
"Matthew did not take it well and we had already had a drink on the way. A fight broke out." James ended up for him. Lucie sighed, typical of Matthew.  
"Why is he the only one who’s not healing?" she asked. A moment later, Cordelia was at her side and, like Lucie, she had a confused frown on her face. She stooped to check James' wounds, but he moved her gently, trying to look Lucie in the face.  
"The leader of the pack has targeted him and must have had something on his claws, because they glowed. Christopher noticed, but it was too late." said James.  
Lucie was on her cousin in an instant, "What was that? Tell me, Christopher, or I swear on the Angel I’ll rip your arms off and-", he put his hands on her shoulders looking at her a little scared. "I’ve already told Mr Fell everything. He knew what I was talking about, but he needs silence to focus and be sure to get all the poison out of Matthew’s body. You just have to be patient." Lucie lifted her chin, making a small nod of assent, and sat down again next to her brother.  
She was still worried and the second she saw Matthew she would burst into tears, but at least someone was healing him. She closed her eyes counting the breaths she took, as Uncle Jem had taught her to do every time she got upset.  
One, two, three, four… she did not reach the fifth, that a ghostly presence attracted her attention. She opened one eye and almost jumped up when she saw Jesse’s ghost across the hall. She excused herself before heading to the common room next to the entrance. She didn’t dare opening her mouth until they were totally alone and out of reach of prying ears. Her friends knew about her power, but she didn’t want them to know that Jesse was there.  
He was looking at her from the window, where he sat down, as usual, and smiled down at her.  
"Hey." He murmured to her like a prayer.  
"Hey, what are you doing here?" she asked, smiling shyly, feeling all the fatigue of that evening overwhelming her in an instant. She leaned on the door.  
"You called me a couple of times. It’s not as if I could decide whether or not to come." He replied, "Is that your blood?" Lucie noticed a note of concern in his tone, but she didn’t give it much thought.  
She shrugged, "It’s Matthew’s." He nodded, reducing his lips to a thin line, as if that explained everything. What had happened and when. Why.  
"Are you all right?"  
"No, I wouldn’t say that." A trembling breath came out of her as her eyes circled with silver. Jesse made to move, but he froze, as if he remembered that he couldn’t touch her anymore, and he sat straight back down.  
"He will recover, you’ll see." he tried to reassure her. She looked at him, making a nervous laugh slip away.  
"You said that to me the night you died. Oh, but I’ll be fine, you’ll see." She said imitating what sounded more like the voice of a Silent Brother than an 18-year-old’s. He burst into laughter, and to Lucie it seemed a little forced, but she didn’t care about that either. He was just trying to cheer her up.  
"I don’t have that voice. And he’s really going to recover, I can’t see him. Or feel him, for what it is." he said running a hand through his hair. To Lucie that gesture looked so normal, so alive, that it seemed to her that the world was shaking for a second. And then, "I miss you." Jesse held his breath, "I miss you every day. And every time he goes out and comes back with a black eye or… or his belly completely open," she said gesturing to the salon where someone was taking care of Matthew, she sighed, "I can’t help but think that one day he won’t come back. And I’ll have to relive it again. And I can’t do it, J. I can’t." she said, starting to sob. The other remained silent starring at her and, as if he had never been there, he disappeared. Lucie bent in two when the pain in her chest seemed unbearable, closing her mouth so as not to be heard, when someone knocked on the door and it opened slightly. Cordelia told her that they had moved Matthew to their rooms and that if she wanted, she could go to his bedside. Lucie quickly wiped her tears away with a final sigh of relief. If they had moved him, it meant that the wounds had been cleaned at least. And maybe now they could have put come iratze.  
Thomas had already warned all the adults with various fire messages and in a few minutes they would all be here, aking them all kind questions, so she might as well have gone next to him and enjoy those last moments of peace before the storm.

Matthew had never felt worse in his life. He had spent the last three days in a state of half-sleep that had stunned him. He vaguely remembered Lucie’s hands on his chest as she changed his bandages and the cold tip of James' stelee when he was able to stand to draw some iratze. He remembered the voice of his brother Charles, who offended him for not being responsible enough, and his mother’s gentle touch on his forehead when she told him she loved him.  
In all of this, Matthew could only agree with his brother. He had been a fool and a reckless. What exactly did he want to do? Fighting against an entire pack of werewolves, breaking the Law? Raziel, the Accords. His mother would have killed him.  
The thought made his head spin and he grunted when the light blinded him. He felt someone move beside him and someone else taking his hand, on the other side of the bed.  
"Math? Are you awake?" Jamie asked, whispering, as if he were afraid to scare him.  
"No, but I was dreaming of you and I had to share my sorrow." He joked, bringing his free hand to his face, to protect himself from the sun. He heard Lucie laughing and his heart stopped, and then started beating faster again. Only for her.  
"Idiot. You really are an idiot. Next time you do something like this, I’m not gonna let anyone cut your chest open. I’m gonna do it myself." When he finally saw his parabatai, he had a band around his arm that held it close to his chest, but he was smiling widely, despite the dark circles under his eyes. He turned his head to the other side and nearly cried at the sight of his future wife.  
Lucie was staring at him with a shy smile on her lips, as if nothing had happened, and as if she had not stayed by her bed for those long and endless days. But darker circles that her brother’s eyes told Matthew enough about how she must have spent all that time. He gripped her hand before looking at James again, making him understand that he wanted to be alone with his fiancée, and he, after having left a kiss on his head, that Matthew noticed only in that moment was bandaged, went out.  
Matthew saw her, staring at her finger where their engagement ring shone and biting her lip thoughtful. He had never noticed it before, how often she did it. It was a nervous tic that she had acquired after Jesse’s death, of that he was sure, but lately it had become a daily occurrence, and Matthew knew that it was partly his fault.  
“I thought I’d lost you." she said suddenly, staring at the ring. Matthew wasn’t sure how to breathe anymore. He went to talk, but she stopped him, "I thought I’d lost you. And that I would never touch your hand again." she repeated. She looked up at him and he saw that her eyes were filled with tears. "I would have lost you, but I would have kept seeing you, because I would have called you every single moment and you would have appeared and this time I wouldn’t have moved on."  
He reached out a hand, brushing her cheekbone with a thumb, removing what was left of her crying, "Luce,"  
"No, Math, no Luce here, Luce there." She said in a sharper tone than she intended, "I spent almost four days watching you turn in your sleep and repeat my name and that of Jamie and your mother." She grasped Matthew’s hand before she took it back and put them both in her lap. "You’re gonna have to change your way of having fun, or the next time you do something like this, I’m gonna leave."  
Matthew snapped to sit, and the dizziness almost made him fell to the side, but her quick hand grabbed him by the shoulder. He looked at her wide-eyed, gasping, looking for the right words to say to her to make her understand that without her, he would not keep living.  
"I tried to make you understand that this kind of life is not good. Not for me, not for Jamie, not even for you. And you go on and on exaggerating every damn time." Her voice broke, "I’m done with this bullshit." he flinched at the use of that word. Not that she wasn’t right, but he never thought he would hear Lucie say it with such spite. "I’m letting you decide Math, it’s me or the alcohol. I’m giving you one last chance." she got up from the chair taking the Fairchild ring off her finger and giving it to him. All without looking at his face. A traitorous tear slipped on her cheek, but she was quick to remove any trace of it. Matthew first looked at the ring and then at her, and then again at the ring. He gently lowered her hand, "No." he said.  
"No?" she asked, wrinkling her forehead.  
"No. I love you Lucie and, and this thing, this disease I have…" he was struggling, looking for the right words to say, "You know." He looked for her eyes and when she finally looked back at him, Matthew started talking again. "You know what happened. You know about the baby. I can’t stop, there’s no solution to that kind of mistake, and if I can’t fix it, then I have to forget. Because if I don’t forget, Luce," he interrupted and caught his breath, "If I don’t forget, I’ll go crazy. And I don’t want to go crazy. I don’t want to go crazy." he was starting to repeat himself, and Lucie knew that when he started to repeat himself, it wasn’t a good sign. It meant he was spiraling down his thoughts.  
Closing her eyes and gathering her last strength she picked up the skirt of her dress in her arms and made a sign to scoot over to her boyfriend.  
"What are you doing?"  
"I’m getting into bed with you, what does it look like? Now move."  
Matthew did, and she sat beside him, circling his shoulders with one arm and carrying his head on her lap. Now he was curled up on her side, and she was passing her hands through his hair, being careful not to bump the bandage, "I’m sorry, Math." she whispered to him.  
"No Lucie don’t, I should be the one apologizing. I should apologize for the way I am, for the way I’m acting. For being the worst friend and fiancé a person could have." he murmured, "I’m terrible."  
"You’re not terrible. And I love you, Matthew." She said, taking his chin and making him turn towards her, "I love you because you are the most extraordinary person I know, and I would not have anyone else beside me. I’m not telling you that I want to leave because you’re a bad person, I’m saying that if you decide to deal with this problem, I will deal with it by your side and I will never leave you alone. I’m saying I can’t be the one to make this decision, because it has to start from you." Matthew sat down in front of her, his lower lip shaking, and when she touched his cheek, he melted on that touch, like every time she grazed him. "I’m telling you I’m here, if you want me, but if you don’t see that there’s something that needs fixing, then I can’t be a part of your life. Do you understand that?" He nodded, always with his face on her hand. He took hers in his and kissed it before looking at her and reaching out to her face. They were about to kiss each other when a sharp pain in his chest caused Matthew to bend over. He groaned for the pain and carried one hand to his side, while the other went to his head, which had just slammed against Lucie’s. She, in turn, started giggling and massaging her forehead, "Yeah, you’re really terrible." she teased him. When Math didn’t answer, she started to worry. He started breathing irregularly and his shoulders were shaking, but she didn’t think he was hurting that bad. The wounds were almost healed.  
"Math?"  
"I’m fine, I’m fine. I think it’s the heart, you know. The fact that you’re not wearing the ring bothers it." He finally said, raising his eyes lit with fun on her face. She made an exasperated noise, pushing him to the side, before grabbing the ring left on the chair and putting it back on her finger. Matthew took her hand smiling and like a few seconds before, kissed the finger with the family ring on it.  
He leaned on his back and brought her to his lap, "I’m so lucky to have you." He kissed her cheek and she blushed to the tip of her feet. There were few who made her blush with the demonstrations of affection and unfortunately for her, but fortunately for the playful side of her future husband, he was among them.  
“And I’m lucky to be loved by someone like you.”  
She took his face in her hand and finally, after days of waiting, she was able to kiss him.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find more at my tumblr @julemmaes


End file.
